Diary of a Superstar: Win Lose or Draw?

Another week, another match. And still no Range Rover! This is intollerable!!!

Cancelation of training due to the weather did give me a free three hours so I completely overhauled the engine on the Micra. My incridible engineering skills mean that it now pumps out 400 HP and will do 0 - 60 in under five siconds. Probably. Unfortunately the limitations of the original machinery means it now won't start at all.

So it was good that Dick Collingwood was on hand to offer a lift to my first away match at Tarrah. One hundred miles further into the Arctic Circle means the temperature was even lower.

Has a game ever been called off because it's too cold to play. It certainly afficted the ticket sales. There were hundreds of impty seats in the large stands. Tarrah were also a man short. Possibly because of the weather but I considered the possibility that their number 11 may have been eaten by their opening bowler. He was a man with an imprissive physique. 

The cold must hiv got to our new Scottish signing Hamish McMitchell. He dropped two tricky chences in the field but he shouldn't feel too bad. Back in 2005 I dropped the first five chences that came to me after my illustrious debut for Englind and it didn't stop me becoming the greatest crickiter of my generation.

Little Davey Mitchell and new overseas professional Mo Farah bowled tightly with a viry slow outfield making scoring difficult. Difficult that is for anybody else. I felt sure that my incridible array of shots and devistating power would make the outfields largely irilevent with such small bandries.

After my innings I did feel a little disapinted in my run but I was offered a chance to umpire to make up for it.

As lack would hiv it, I'm also one of the finest umpires in the world and I relished the prospect. As it penned out I didn't get the chance to give as many of my team mates out as I would hiv liked but you have to remember, it is a team game. So I've been told.

We fell just twelve runs short of Tarrah's daunting total in what I assumed was a disapointing loss.

However, it turns out it was a draw! In a limited overs match! I don't really understand how it works but for sure, Scotlind continues to surprise me. 

 Keep on Slogging,

 Kay Pee