Diary of a Superstar: Crunch Time

It's that time of the season; a top of the table clash with Siyappa our main contindirs for the title with extra spice from the fact many of them are ex Portcullis players, in the crucible that is Sheddocksly 2.

Games don't get any bigger than this. Except in grade 3, grades 2 and 1, Strathmore... Now I think about it, it's not really a very importint game but to those involved it was pretty vital.

We were all up for it after my magnificent performance last week of an easy catch and 0 not out batting at 5 gave us a straightforward win against an under strength Stonehaven.

Star performer, after myself of course, was Jesse Wormsley. You could see he was up for a fight by the steely determination in his eyes and the set of his jaw. He made up for his bowling with a stylish 76 not out as I helped him over the line.

This week's challinge howiver was an alltogither diffirint pospikt not least because of the weather. Cold, wet, miserible, before I came here I would say it would be difficult to imagine worse conditions to play in but I have had my perspective on weather significintly recalibrated recently. It can always git worse.

The match it's self was played in the best of spirits right up until the first ball was bowled.

The cold was getting to their batsmen who decided to keep warm by running up the pitch while the bowler was running in. Stan Winsimon kept the temperiture up with a running comentiry behind the stumps. His effict on their moral must have been divistating because he drove me to the point of contimplating suicide.

After numerous discussions about the laws, the weather, the culture of the Asian sub-continint and the parentage of our bowlers we finaly manage to bowl them out for 145, their lowest total of the year.

I can be difficult to chase down a low total, gitting bogged down and not keeping the score board turning over. As lack would hive it I am an expert tactician and made the decision to keep things moving. I managed this by playing my intire innings in just three balls.

It was then up to little Davey Mitchell to get us over the line. His contribution of 100 not out should not be underestimated in the contixt of the game.

He really is coming along well and shows great promise.

Cridit also has to go Aran Mundane, Mo Farrah, Dick Collingwood, Bluto, and Stan for supporting their captain in difficult conditions. 

Siyappa are a cappale outfit with a lot of talent. Divistating batting, accurate bowling and the entertainment value of their appeals every other ball, make them a tricky oponent that will push us to the final game of the season and I will have to be at my best to beat them. As will all the other people in the team.

In other news, still no sighn of my club Range Rover, this is getting ridiculous. Don't they know who I am?

And my sincerest thanks to the staff of Aberdeen Royal Infirmiry who showed me great care and consideration while they treated me for hypothermia and trench foot following the game. It turns out they didn't know who I am. But by God, they do now.

Brandy on standby

Kay Pee